Life After the Diagnosis
My spiritual transformation changed my life and my family’s and we tried to prepare as best possible for the unexplainable cause of these new obstacles. We all get busy and sometimes we don’t pray as much as we should. The transformation in my life did not happen overnight. It has been a walk of faith, trial and error and some short comings that has caused me to always trust in the Lord. In my growth, God would allow small victories in my life in order to trust HIM and build my confidence in HIM. HE continues to lead me through HIS process that requires obedience to follow HIM. Having a prayer life of faith and the discipline to walk after what HE says and to follow HIS word develops into a unique relationship.
God loves us, and I totally believe that HE is committed to winning the hearts of people who don’t know HIM. God has a distinctive way of developing the hearts and character of HIS people. My story is another one that is exclusive and new to me, but you will see how God holds my hand through a scary storm.
I guess you can say that all the super weirdness started with my body in the month of October in 2009 when I believe I noticed some changes happening, but of course I wrote it off as I am turning 38 and my body will be changing. I decided to go forward with my fabulous life and ignored warning signs that something was happening to me. I have always tried to keep a positive attitude and lead by example of how to love you!
Now going a little further back in 2005, 2007, and 2009, I went through some new transformations that were life changing and heavy on my heart. I started going through some things that wasn’t on the plan or agenda of Mona Lisa. In 2005, I lost my son to a car accident and he was only 6 years old. We were devastated and the loss of him took a toll on all of our lives. It was hard to deal with and yes, there was the blame game playing itself out in our lives, which made things harder.
In 2007, I was separated from a man who was my husband at the time for 11 years. He could not get over the pain and the guilt of having his son gone, so he wanted out of the marriage. In 2007, I was divorced and had no sons at home in order for me to mentally get it together, I called my father. Losing a child is horrible enough, but to have to bare the guilt and shame alone and in front of my other sons too much to endure at that time. So, the empty nest syndrome was in effect before the kids where grown.
In 2008, all I had was me and me alone. I had to spend some time with God all by lonesome and that sounds easy to do until you realize that you have been running from HIM for a long time. You didn’t really want to face yourself and the music. I ran until I could not run anymore. When I finally gave up and surrendered myself unto HIM, HE quietly said to me, “Are you ready now? By the way, you are an okay person, you have flaws, but you are, to put it in general terms that you could understand a cool cat”. Well, God also said to me that he wanted my FULL ATTENTION because he has some things to say and HE began like this, “go over – rebuke – sharpen – replenish – refill – deliver and rejoice in me”. I felt so broken that I didn’t have a clue how to do any of this without HIM. Yep folks, as I was reflecting back, all of these thoughts were going through my mind as I was being wheeled to the emergency room on January 9, 2010 at 2:40 am in the morning.
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